Personal

Everything seems to be getting back to normal, if it can be called that. My days still have a sense of urgency to them, like I need to squeeze every moment out that I can. On days that I fall short, my night involves tossing & turning, stressing over wasted minutes. This feeling should start to subside, I've been here before. Physically, I feel good. Still. There's a caveat...I do feel different and I don't know at all how to describe it. There's the usual questions medical staff ask...are you having pain? I am not. It's impossible to know is this normal? What is this feeling?

Uh oh, this looks like it could be serious. Actual form at Drs office below.

evil spirits (1 of 1)

 

Last week I stopped in at Juno to say hi. They were excited to meet me, I was more excited to meet them! Juno is the company who magically took my t-cells and turned them into cancer fighting BAs. They turn t-cells into Chuck Norris. I think I'm going back in the near future when they can be formally prepared for my arrival. They are just so nice, it continues to humble me to meet all of these people behind the scenes who are working to eradicate cancer. I left feeling like I had met true heroes and that I wish I was local so I could try to get a job there myself.

I hesitate to say I'm having a bad day, but I am crabby. Not about anything going on with me.

This morning I learned of a loss of a young woman and it's breaking my heart. I wish I could do something or anything to ease the grief of her family. I'm in a bit of a mood, and then I went down a rabbit hole that leads me to the following.

Anyone who gets diagnosed with cancer is going to meet a lot of new people. It's pretty much impossible to avoid. Some casual acquaintances wind up being extremely close and invaluable. Some "close" friends and family don't know how to deal with it and drift away. Then there are some people like the following jackass I'll name "JJ" to protect his privacy. JJ doesn't have much experience, but that's irrelevant. He knows people. His oncologist is practically his BFF, and he's on speed dial and email  24/7 with him. No matter what you're doing, chances are it's wrong and JJ is going to tell you about it. He's an expert. It leaves me scratching my head how JJ hasn't single handedly eradicated cancer because he's just that good. He's going to tell you what treatment you should be having and where. The jackass I'm referring to is single-handedly the reason I was hesitant to even share my own experience with this trial. He's also the reason that I'm not going to get into a lot of specifics. Luckily for him, he's already an expert in everything to do with my treatment, not that he's having it or anything else. I avoid JJ's as much as possible, and I encourage anyone else to do the same. Arm chair quarterback internet experts like this are in no way qualified, even with all their connections.